Too Hard On Ourselves

Our lesson in church yesterday was interpretedly on women being too hard on themselves. This felt extremely true and applicable. Once we become teenagers it's as if everyone's opinion matters except for those that truely like us the way we are. Sure, this can be blamed on hormones, or teenage fashion and whatnot, and it lessons a bit once we get married and have no one to please but our husbands. . .

But then, we enter the most elite club of women that have ever existed and we are suddenly and immediately suppose to be perfect in every single way. Mothers! We still have to physically perfect ourselves: make-up, hair, clothes, in shape; but now our children also have to look perfectly, and behave perfectly, and our husbands have to look perfectly and behave perfectly, and our houses have to be clean and decorated cute, and our lawns have to be green and have beautiful flowers, and our garden has to grow the best veggies around, and we have to cook like a chef but nothing but wholesome yet tastey meals, our crafts are all handmade, and our clothes all hand sewn. If we lack in any of these catagories, (or like me, all of the above) it is a direct indication of how good of a mother/wife we are.

This is so unfair. Women really do put this kind of pressure on eachother, and then to themselves. I am quite satisfied by accomplishing what I can, how I can, but even I can fall into a pit of self-pity looking at how much better other women are than me.

Example: My sister-in-law, has the amazing talent of decorating. Her home is always so cute and clean and perfect. My home has Jaden's toys scattered everywhere and is a modge podge of whatever random decorations we happen to have, very little planned out. I just don't have an eye for it. I appreciate this talent in her and am glad she has it, but at times I do find myself judging my humble abode to her cute decorated home.

And yet I've learned through life that pretty much anyone you're jelous of is in some way jelous of you as well. Like right now my sister-in-law is probably jelous that my baby sleeps through the night. =o)

Which brings me to another point. Many babies were born in our ward about the same time as Jaden. Because of this it's easy to compare milestones in their development. Right now Jaden is sitting, crawling, and standing (holding on to the couch or anything he can get his hands on). Most of the other babies his age are just starting to sit. I feel a bit of pride at this achievement, but why? It's not like I had anything to do with it. On the other hand, on of the ladies' baby, who was born premature, so is a couple months older than Jaden even though they were due at the same time, is still just just happy to lay on the floor in one place. She has expressed that she feels bad that her baby is so far behind. Why again? It's not her fault. And her baby is healthy and happy. By the way her baby is also sooo cute with is full head of red hair! I've heard of one-upping one another on child development but I never thought it would happen to me. Funny how we naturally take pride or shame in things we have no control over whatsoever.

Anyhow, those are just some thoughts I had on the matter. Mostly I'm happy with who I am. and what I have. I hope you other women are also. We are unique. We raise our families differently, we have different strengths and weaknesses, but we are women, we are strong and we are beautiful. Every one of us. Don't ever let anyone make you think otherwise. Perfection is not a goal any more than a reality, just try to be the best you you can be.